Asking for Pronoun Clarification, When To

Second part of my response to Krystal's post found here

As a final note, I do not agree with the advice of your B-GLAD house-mates. I think that asking a person their pronoun should not be a last resort, it should not be what you do after everything else has failed. Asking the pronoun is the best way to ever prevent failure. Additionally, failure can create a huge amount embarrassed depending on the context. If, for instance, you could not identify Sam by their appearance or mannerisms, It would be best to ask. If you asked Sam and they told you that they use masculine pronouns, you can proceed to refer to him with masculine pronouns which dispels the uncertainty of those around you. If you use 'they' without asking when you have the opportunity to, it perpetuates the confusion and may cause others to identify Sam with feminine pronouns, causing embarrassment for all.

Asking for pronouns should, I think, be your first choice. If you are having a difficult time identifying an individuals gender, chances are that other people have had the same problem and have already asked that person, so they will be used to it. If they are offended when you use ask they are being slightly unreasonable, because you very well could have identified them as the wrong gender and thereby caused others to do the same. People who ask are simply trying to do the right thing, which is to say, identifying people by their correct gender.